


Stories of the Second Self: Dark Horse Candidate

by John_Steiner



Series: Alter Idem [26]
Category: The Odd Couple (1968), Urban Fantasy - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:27:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22516219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/John_Steiner/pseuds/John_Steiner
Summary: An odd couple of a vampire city councilman and his Fae chief of staff prepare for a mayoral candidacy. However, Felix wonders at the disappearance of an in-house employee hired to keep people out of Oscar's basement during daylight hours.
Series: Alter Idem [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618813
Kudos: 1





	Stories of the Second Self: Dark Horse Candidate

"Where's Jim?" Felix asked, thumbing at the door that led down to the basement floor.

"I don't know what you mean," Oscar replied, turning to cast his solid back eyes onto Felix.

"I hired that guy to keep people out of your house during daylight hours," Felix while tapping the front of his hoof on the floor.

"He made too much noise," Oscar replied, returning to his laptop.

"Made?" Felix repeated, tilting his ten point antlers as if unsure he heard that right. "As in past tense? Alright, seriously, where is he?"

"I told you not to hire a giant for that job," Oscar retorted, not looking away from his campaign rally speech. "What about a werewolf or something? They're pretty sharp in picking up trouble."

"I told you why," Felix said, clopped over to Oscar's side and tilting to look at Oscar's face while adding, "Most of our constituents don't approve of werewolves. They barely put up with you."

"That's just bigotry and nonsense," Oscar griped, waving off the complaint.

"You got elected because of bigotry," Felix snapped, "Who promised tougher sentencing guidelines for street pack activity? Who forced a city council bill through that made the law to consider all howlers to be considered armed, and therefore automatically add deadly weapons charges to the slightest misdemeanor? Who used their town hall events to provide political approval of discrimination in hiring?"

"You know better than that," Oscar replied, tilting his head, but still typing in the latest anti-werewolf dog whistle remark into his speech. "First rule in politics: don't say what you believe and don't believe what you say."

"Does that include, 'I don't know what you mean,' when I came down here?" Felix sternly prodded, and then started looking around the other rooms turning on every light along the way.

Oscar glanced over, to see Felix coming up to the door of the unfinished part of the basement. One corner of Oscar's mouth rose into a subtle smirk, when he caught a shift in Felix's pointed ears on opening the door.

"Oh my god!" Felix just stood there trying to process the sight.

"Like I said, too noisy," Oscar said, and resumed reviewing his last paragraph. "It's like living under a truck with its engine always on. But, couldn't let it go to waste."

"Shoulda known," Felix gritted, "You weren't cutting back on your intake at all, just had your own stupid stash right in here."

"C'mon Felix," Oscar called over, "You're going to be the Chief of Staff to the first vampire mayor of a major American city. The Cincinnati Enquirer has us ahead of that ridiculous minister by twenty points, after I carefully stole all his issues."

"How am I gonna get this out of here?" Felix complained, leaning his head back in defeat and disgust. "And not cause a huge scandal? You know, just because he's a giant doesn't mean murder charges won't be filed if this came out."

"Remember Judge Rollings, on that last issue?" Oscar reminded, "He's got needs just like I do. If it comes to that, pull some strings and we'll have it heard out in his court."

"How bout we try to deal with the problem before it gets there?" Felix seethed shaking his hands at Oscar's back. "You know, so that we don't have another major PR disaster in the media?"

"Look," Oscar stopped typing and turned around to frame his perspective between his hands, "I'm sorry you ignored my warning about as loud-as-all-hell giant to live in ground floor of my house, which I didn't want to remodel for such a huge goddamn ceiling. I apologize that the idea of keener werewolf senses escaped your planning when hiring a pseudo-security guard. And it absolutely bereaves me that you're not understanding of my nutritional needs, what with all the tofu and soy crap you can live on happily."

"Y'know," Felix sighed shaking his head, "That's not what an apology sounds like."

"Bite me," Oscar sniped, and went back to his speech.


End file.
